I want to share something powerful I learned recently from Marcus Aurelius, thanks to Ryan Holiday. He said that the only way people who do you wrong can truly hurt you, is if you become like them. 

Part of my journey has involved contending with this idea of victim mentality. It’s always easier to say my life turned out the way it has because of the wounds I suffered. But the people involved in those wounds have not actually hurt me. I was wounded, not denying that, but I did not become like them.

If I had allowed myself to become bitter, angry, and vengeful, that’s when I could truly say I was hurt. I would have compromised my core being. I can no longer say, in good conscience, that people have hurt me. Instead, I choose to make a conscious effort to be kinder to myself and others. I refuse to let the world and all that’s happened hurt my essence. The more I keep believing, “I am hurt” or, “I was hurt by others”, the less personal power I am practicing. I am not hurt. I have not been hurt. I have not allowed myself to become like them. I just haven’t.

It’s easy to dismiss difficult experiences as “things happen for a reason” which can feel like spiritual BS after awhile. In my victim mentality, my initial reaction was often that things happened TO me. Circumstances were out of my control.